why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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