So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
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Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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