I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
