I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
