um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
