Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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