It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
