do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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