sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
