Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
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I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
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legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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