Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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