I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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