weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
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So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
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I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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