mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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