what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
