I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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