Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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