So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
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He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
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Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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