just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
