his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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