Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
