I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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