i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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