then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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