Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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