I think scott just propositioned me for sex
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
