i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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