I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
