I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Randomize
