My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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