Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
