I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize