hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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