Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you