I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
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So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."