Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
if i died would you start the facebook group?
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i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
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so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.