What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.