I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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