She said her name was "party"
You can't motorboat a personality
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
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