I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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