I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so let's talk penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
sex in a hospital.. check
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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