32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
