ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
