Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
