Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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