She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
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i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!