I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
