Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret

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(440): if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret http://tfl.nu/39e1

Replies (4) Good night (3731) Bad night (980)
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(760): View more from California

Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.

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(760): Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing. http://tfl.nu/culr

Replies (29) Good night (907) Bad night (6242)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.

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(815): I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too. http://tfl.nu/hrck

Replies (26) Good night (4630) Bad night (927)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?

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(319): Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's? http://tfl.nu/rb01

Replies (18) Good night (1029) Bad night (5263)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.

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(802): I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends. http://tfl.nu/oh1c

Replies (10) Good night (5035) Bad night (1088)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.

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(203): he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs. http://tfl.nu/tskr

Replies (44) Good night (8446) Bad night (1290)
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(806): View more from Texas

You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."

(1-806): View more from Texas

Best pick-up line ever!

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(806): You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck." (1-806): Best pick-up line ever! http://tfl.nu/plrf

Replies (35) Good night (10004) Bad night (1401)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.

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(603): this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with. http://tfl.nu/tzze

Replies (36) Good night (13842) Bad night (1114)
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(916): View more from California

In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?

(1-916): View more from California

Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.

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(916): In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room? (1-916): Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne. http://tfl.nu/vsj8

Replies (11) Good night (5159) Bad night (940)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.

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(307): These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line. http://tfl.nu/f42j

Replies (2) Good night (1919) Bad night (704)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????

(781): View more from Massachusetts

5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal

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(617): she's five days sober.....are those consecutive???? (781): 5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal http://tfl.nu/ppjn

Replies (1) Good night (1490) Bad night (716)
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(256): View more from Alabama

That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.

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(256): That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was. http://tfl.nu/kyou

Replies (1) Good night (760) Bad night (587)
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(424): View more from California

I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn

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(424): I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn http://tfl.nu/bfkb

Replies (3) Good night (465) Bad night (263)
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(407): View more from Florida

It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird

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(407): It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird http://tfl.nu/jtlu

Replies (12) Good night (830) Bad night (371)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect

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(704): He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect http://tfl.nu/wh1c

Replies (4) Good night (203) Bad night (460)

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