I think scott just propositioned me for sex
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
