if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
