she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
