me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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