don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize