Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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