dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
