i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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