Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
There's always time for handjobs
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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