How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
