Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
