New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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