I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
smell my finger.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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